The Quality of Mercy

When you live alone and with no family on your own you might find yourself meeting someone pretty (and in my case a she) and she might have a child on her own. I find myself in such a situation at the moment – and the experience is always thrilling. Not just because I find her a wonderful person, but because she can open doors to new people and new adventures. This may happen more than once. Maybe even more depending on where the realtionship takes you. I have to say I am grateful for being able to take part in these small families life (as well as trusted), and get a feeling of what it actually feels like to be a father with a family. The feeling is exciting and wonderful, but yet somber at the same time. Simply because I get a taste of the feeling of it, but it is yet so far away.

Yesterday this wonderful person invited me to join her at a family adventure park. Its a park where you don’t really venture into if you happen to be single and over the age of 25. It just doesn’t fit. But with a child present it all works out. In this park I was suddenly part of parents and children having a great day out. It’s like a whole new world I am not accustomed to. I loved it. I loved every moment of it. Even when the child ran around the parking lot proclaiming at the age of seven she had no underwear on (and flashed a couple of bypassers in the process). I simply loved every moment of it. I am so grateful for being allowed to go with them and have a day out like that.

Isn’t it Christians who often sit around a table full of food and tell of what they are grateful for? I am grateful for all the above. I am grateful for the time my ex let me take her child to the movies – just me and her. It made me feel normal, like I felt normal yesterday. Normal is such a difficoult word, but I feel normal in these surroundings. So I feel normal, but I feel somber because it is not my life. I am the outsider.