Ghosts of girlfriends past. Part 4.

Right, I’ll do something else now. I’ll re-visit a few of my short-time and long-time girlfriends (don’t worry, there’s not many of them!) and do a short summary of it. I might turn out anything from hilarious (mostly the first ones) to very serious crap. Anyway, I’ll do it because it feels like something I want to do.

Girlfriend #4: The girl next door

Who was she?
She was a cute, somewhat naive 18 year old girl with long curly brown hair and (at first) braces on her teeth (when she took those off she was a knock-out in my eyes). She lived just five minutes by car away from me (I lived with my parents then). Not only did she have a “girl next door look”, she was basically from the same place as me. I met her in January 2002 at one of the first parties I really ever attended. Sober. She had never had a boyfriend before, so I thought I was quite experienced. I truly wasn’t. Spring of 2002 and especially the summer of 2002 stands out as one of the best summers I’ve had ever. I was making out and fooling around with a really cute girl. I actually had a girlfriend and a proper network of friends. We stayed together for about two years. I still have fond memories of her.

Why did you date her?
I was attracted to her. She was everything I looked for in a girl. Down to Earth, lovely smile, nice to talk to. Very pretty. We stayed over at each others houses, did social things with our common friends. Made out. Made out some more. Went to the movies. Made out even more. Met her parents and family as well.

Why didn’t it work out?
After she graduated high school she wanted a year off before college. She found this big farm about 2,5 hours drive south with lots of horses. She loved horses. So, she moved there to be part-time babysitter and part-time horse trainer or something. And, she was never as into me as I was into her. We stayed together for another year. I drove to pick her up every other weekend, and had a great time when she was home. But, I wasn’t as interesting as horses and travels going to all kinds of horse races in Norway and abroad. And she lacked empathy. I remember I spoke to her mother about empathy. She just didn’t have it. It’s a nasty thing to say, but it was quite true. Anyway, we had to fantastic summers together. Then she cheated on me with some horse trainer guy in the fall of 2003-early 2004. So she broke up with me. It’s the only time I have actually snuck around and looked at someone elses phone – which confirmed it all. After she broke up with me, I had serious issues getting over her and missed her dearly for a long time. One night on town, I saw her making out with a new boyfriend which put an end to me missing her.

Where is she now?
She met this football fan guy from way down south at some point. To me, he always looked like he was 16 years old. Odd face. Odd chap really. He moved over here and she got pregnant. Twice. So she got two children and she’s still with him. Good for her. She has a good education as well. Still got her on Snapchat. Lovely looking kids. Odd how she ended up with a more “normal” life than me, when it was me who longed for it the most.

What would you like to tell her?
I wasn’t stalking you, honestly (lol), but I am sorry I could not get over you as quickly as I should have. I still have wonderful memories of our time together, and say if I had been coming into your life at the time you met your current guy – I think we would have worked out well together. Hey, I am being rather nice about the cheating part aren’t I? It’s fine, people make mistakes. Don’t matter. I just met you too soon, and we couldn’t simply settle down so early could we. So, it was a bit too soon. A pity really. I really did love you. First time I have ever loved someone. And why do I get the feeling you would have liked me more if I had been more of an asshole or dangerous?

She liked the song, I liked the song – and it reminds me of her. Especially those first dates.

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Chapter 1 | Lifestyle choice: untraditional

I am not someone who does anything the traditional or stereotypic way. I always had different hobbies and interests than my peers. I was a teenage-geek and I didn’t even know it. I was the one who overdosed on an epic five-year 90s sci-fi show saga called Babylon 5 and spent countless hours talking about it online. I cried like a baby in the bathroom when the last episode aired. I was the one spending hours chatting online (who remembers mIRC?) to Americans and Brits before most could even get themselves online. I was into Aerosmith and rock n’ roll when everyone else was listening to the Backstreet Boys. I wore my TNT shirt with pride when TNT wasn’t cool (they still not cool though). I wasn’t pulling my pants down or put some kind of skateboard cap on my head to act like some kind of weird countryside wannabe New York gangster. Oh yeah, perhaps I should have done the pants though. I had no sense of fashion and the girls stayed the fuck away from me. In other words, had no luck with any girls in my hometown(s) or in my own country until I was about 21. Not that weird really. I was never around. Never out. Never at parties. I didn’t know anyone for them to invite me anywhere. No one knew who I was anymore. I had alienated them all in my geeked out interests no one else cared about. I wasn’t even keen on riding a moped! I would rather stay home to watch Formula 1.

Speaking of friends, it wasn’t until I started talking to a girl from Texas online that I finally found one. I think it was 1999 when I first started talking to her. Maybe 1998. My childhood friends were long gone in another direction than me by that time. I didn’t really care. They bored me.  She didn’t. She loved Babylon 5 after all. Her name was Amber and she was my American counterpart. Insecure, shy, lonely and had a thing for science fiction and rock n’ roll. There was no one like around my parts. A sparsely populated country have its flaws. I had to stretch across the pond to find someone.

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Being a lost and insecure countryside geek can be lonely and frustrating, but it can also open doors many mainstream people are not able to open. That’s why I found myself all alone on an American Airlines Boeing 767 heading to Texas in July 2001. She was my dearest friend, and I wanted desperately to see her. My mother was two shaken heartbeats from a heart attack when I left that morning. Don’t worry. Boyfriends that got in the way, excessive pot smoking, counterfeit money and semi-criminal behavior set aside – it all went well and I came back in one piece. Since then, being the untraditional way that I am, I have done many things that means much to me personally. I am quite pleased. Maybe it is like how someone told me recently; that those of us who went this far with our online presence (merging it with reality ) back then can now benefit greatly from it. I know I am.

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I couldn’t do education traditionally either, so I went with healthcare. A typical female type of work. Then I went to college and chose Educational Research (Pedagogy). Another semi-female type of work. I aced that one by the way. First and only time I’ve gotten an A on anything. With healthcare I spent years working nursing homes. Fact is, I was rather good at it. I had a knack at professional care. I had a talent for working with elderly and children all the same. I spent almost three years working at an elementary school as well. To say my co-workers have mostly been middle aged women would be an understatement. But, I don’t do anything traditionally, in case you still didn’t realize.

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The only traditional choice in women I did was dating a girl from my hometown. This blog will be about relationships and failures so why not mention it. She was a lovely, pretty girl with lots of naivety. I loved her like a dedicated pushover. I was 21 and she was 18. We stayed together for two years or so until she wanted to do something else. Or perhaps sleep with someone else. She was 20 and bored of me. I can’t really blame her for that. I was in love and rather boring.

So considering women, it was back to untraditional. And so the story begins.